hamtaryo:

darrynek:

*high fives you with my penis*

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(Source: panerasexual, via blastoiser)

saintlukas:

Madonna be like

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(via thesongofbrooke)

drippingwithirony:

this teacher store tryin to get with me tho

(via thesongofbrooke)

plot twist: you wake up for school fully rested and ready to socialize

toomanyfandomssolittletime:

toomanyfandomssolittletime:

its really hard being a Hindu, because i wanna taste beef but i can’t because of religion. damn.

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wAIT WHAT

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mY SKIN IS WHITE???

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I’M NOT INDIAN???? I’VE NOT BEEN A HINDU FOR 16 YEARS BECAUSE MY PARENTS ARE ALSO HINDUS??

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cAN I FINALLY STOP WORSHIPPING COWS?!?!?!!

(via theaadventureye)

joshpeck:

​me whenever i don’t get enough notes on my selfie

(Source: loveonstereo, via sassykardashian)

freshlyblogged:

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

(Source: queenofsabah, via iwillmindfuckyou)

amydoesthings:

cumslayer:

cumslayer:

So I went on a date today and we went to a nice restaurant before going to the movies and I ordered the “iced grape popsicles” for dessert because I love grape Popsicles so why not right?…..so the waiter brings out the “iced grape popsicles” aND THEY WERE LITERALLY 3 FROZEN GRAPES ON STICKS…..I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE OFFENDED IN MY LIFE…SINCE WHEN ARE 3 FUCKING FROZEN GRAPES IN A FUCKING VASE AN ACCEPTABLE SINGLE DESSERT ORDER..ITS NOT EVEN FROZEN GRAPE JUICE OR SOMETHING ITS LITERALLY JUST A 0.02$ GRAPE THAT WAS PUT ON A STICK THEN FROZEN…LIKE SOMEONE ACTUALLY WROTE THIS DOWN ON THE MENU THINKING “OH YEAH PEOPLE FUCKING LOVE COLD GRAPES” AND SOME OTHER ASSHAT SAID “BRAH. HEAR ME OUT, HOW ABOUT WE PUT THEM ON STICKS AND SERVE THEM IN A VASE WITH NOTHING ELSE” LIKE YOU COULDNT EVEN SERVE IT WITH A FUCKING SECOND FRUIT OR EVEN FUCKING LEAVES OR WHATEVER… IM SO MAD. FUCKING FROZEN GRAPES ON A STICK.

AND THEY WERENT EVEN SEEDLESS GRAPES…..

THAT LAST COMMENT IS WHAT DID IT. HOW DARE THEY

(via iwillmindfuckyou)

illkim:

"Mom can we get McDonalds?"

"Eat what’s in the fridge"

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(Source: illkim, via blastoiser)

I wish i could make you into a coat, but a living coat not a dead coat

(Source: korkuokulu, via iwillmindfuckyou)